Tuesday, 12 March 2013

Still here... and reminiscing...

So on Mother's Day, last Sunday, I reached 20 weeks pregnant exactly. What a day! Remembering Isla and missing her so much on what should have been our first Mother's Day together but feeling such a strong bond with my ever-growing bump.
 We know our precious bundle is a little girl now, which is lovely. Hasn't even crossed my mind that she's a replacement for Isla, though I know some women feel that pressure.
This pregnancy has not been easy at all. I've had lots of trips to the hospital but seem to be getting looked after pretty well. I managed to fall over the other night which scared me a bit, but again, she seems fine!
Today I've been reminiscing. On my July birth board, a forum for others due in July, they have been sharing pictures of their previous bumps. I'm not really prepared to do that, but it's interesting to see. I can only find a couple which I thought I'd share here instead.
This is my Isla bump at 18+5
Compared to Rainbow bump at 18 weeks
And this is Isla bump at 20+4
Compared to Rainbow bump at 20 weeks
More interesting is, when I looked through the birth group I was in with Isla, I found a post I wrote the day before we found out Isla had died. So telling of what was going wrong but it makes me so sad to see the title I gave the post... You'll have to click on it to read it properly...
Later that day, after my appointment, I wrote the following:
I find it so sad to read those posts, just the day before we found out we'd lost our darling girl. Scary too, that I am only 6 weeks away from that exact time.


  1. It is defiantly going to be a scary but exciting time for you, at least you have these messages to go back on, and you will know any signs that you have been through before, I'm sure everything will be fine but it is understandable that you will be anxious in the upcoming weeks, I was always worried coming up to the weeks I had previously lost my babies as they both happened in the exact same week of pregnancy but in the first trimester. Glad you are getting checked regularly and hopefully looking after you a lot better then with Isla, and this darling little baby will never be a replacement you will always remember Isla she is your gorgeous little girl no matter how long you where able to told her in your arms, she will be in your heart forever x x x

    1. Thank you steph. Beautiful words Xx

  2. Hi sara, I remember your posts too on fb about feeling so unwell and miserable just before..it's such a conflict when pregnancy makes you feel low you feel so ungrateful but those hormones are a chemical drain, it's understandable and some suffer more than others. I was v. Depressed. You knew something was wrong, and pregnancy makes everyone worry to excess, don't let worry consume you, you deserve to enjoy it but don't feel you have to, it's hard work creating such a fragile thing as life! Your bumps are lovely! Naomi Xxx

  3. Thanks Naomi. I know I didn't get to full term so I'm already dreading 26 weeks and being so large but know I'll be getting so much bigger this time!! I love being pregnant really, it's just so hard not to whinge sometimes!! Xx