I post on grief...

I'm in a whole other place now. A place I would not be in if Isla were here. That is a quandary and so hard to consider because Caleigh is the most wonderful being in the world. 

I came across this quote from C.S. Lewis today and I think it describes grief so perfectly. Especially when you feel like you are, we'll, moving on with life. But I don't like to think of moving on, as I've discussed on this blog before. 

“Getting over it so soon? But the words are ambiguous. To say the patient is getting over it after an operation for appendicitis is one thing; after he’s had his leg off is quite another. After that operation either the wounded stump heals or the man dies. If it heals, the fierce, continuous pain will stop. Presently he’ll get back his strength and be able to stump about on his wooden leg. He has ‘got over it.’ But he will probably have recurrent pains in the stump all his life, and perhaps pretty bad ones; and he will always be a one-legged man. There will be hardly any moment when he forgets it. Bathing, dressing, sitting down and getting up again, even lying in bed, will all be different. His whole way of life will be changed. All sorts of pleasures and activities that he once took for granted will have to be simply written off. Duties too. At present I am learning to get about on crutches. Perhaps I shall presently be given a wooden leg. But I shall never be a biped again.”

― C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

Caleigh is my wooden leg.