I should be 30+4 weeks pregnant. I need to be pregnant - with Isla. Why aren't I? Why is life unfair?
Isla was born sleeping exactly 1 month ago.
I liked that she was born on Friday 13th at the time because it was somehow related to me - I've always had 13 as my favourite number as it is my birthday and certainly never believed in the Friday 13th bad luck myth. I still don't think it was Friday 13th that took her (duh!) - in fact, she died on Weds 11th.
But it's still so raw - the following days are blacklisted for me at the moment:
~ All Fridays
~ All Wednesdays
~ Any 13th dates
~ October 18th (due date)
~ July 30th - Funeral
I'm sure the pain of those days will get easier but am I going to enjoy today? I'll try but the pain is unbearable at the moment.
I was given a bible quote last night about not grieving without hope. I have hope - in dribs and drabs - but need more!