Saturday, 12 October 2013

Day 11 - Triggers

Day 11 - Triggers

There are lots of things in day to day life that make me remember Isla. Since getting pregnant again and even more so since having Caleigh, the most prominent trigger is definitely when someone asks "Is she your first ?". 

Now, do I deny my daughter and say "Yes, Caleigh is my first"? Or do I risk scaring,saddening and probably slightly embarrassing that person by saying "Well no actually..."? Sadly, I usually opt for the latter, though it often depends on my mood and who is asking. But every time someone asks me that question I think of Isla. As it is, I usually lift my eyes to heaven and say a quick "Hello, I love you" to my precious daughter and, if necessary, a "Sorry" for dismissing her. 
Caleigh is my second born daughter. She is a little sister. I am a mother to two children. Isla will never be forgotten or truly 'dismissed' but sometimes I'm just not quite strong enough to tell every Tom, Dick and Irene all about her while standing in the Sainsbury checkout queue. 


2012 Entry

Day 11 Capture Your Grief - Supportive Friends and Family

Wow, we are so blessed to have so many around us. We have the most amazing friends and family.

My family surrounded Dan and I from the moment they found out Isla had died in me. They cried with us, made us laugh through the tears and have provided immense love when we needed it most. 

Friends have rallied around us and made us feel like we're not going through this alone. I'm sorry if your photo is not in the photo - it doesn't mean you're not supportive, I just ran out of room! Thank you for the invites out to coffee or drinks, thank you for stopping in, thank you for coming to Isla's funeral, thank you for the texts just to check on me. You are all stars!

The larger photos in the collage are of course Dan, my wonderful husband. There is no way on Earth I could have gotten through the last 3 months without Dan. He has been my rock but also someone to cry with. He is amazing. I'm sorry I can be such a pain, Dan!

Then there's my mum. What a fantastic mum I have. Both Dan and I have been blown away by how supportive, loving and caring she has been. She has cried with us, hugged us, screamed with us and driven 400 miles to be with us over and over. Thank you, mum. Neither Dan nor I could have done any of this without you by our side and we shall be forever grateful. Xxx

No comments:

Post a Comment