Day 13 - Book

Day 13 - Book

I bought lots of books, thinking I would read them and find comfort. Wonderful friends sent me books that had been helpful to them too. I mostly escaped into a good fictional crime novel to be honest. 

But there was one that I rather liked because it allowed me some reflection too. I took it to the launderette with me a couple of times and it stayed in my handbag for a while. It is written beautifully and recounts one woman's story. And then there is space for you to write your own thoughts. 

As is the way with me, I never did finish it - it is quite time consuming doing all that writing! - but I think I may go back to it following today. 

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2012 entry

Day 13 Capture Your Grief - Signs

I used to believe in 'signs'. I used to think seeing certain things was a 'sign' from God, or Dad or the cosmos that something was going to happen. 

When we got pregnant 3 days after deciding to give up on trying for a baby and accept our infertility, I took it as a sign that someone up there didn't want us to give up. Blimey, that was a great sign! We had never known such happiness. 

And then Isla died. 

So what is that a sign of? Are we being taught a lesson? Are we supposed to just accept that now? Did we do something wrong that we deserved this?

So now, the only signs I see are bad.